My husband kissed me on the forhead tonight at 9:00pm and said, "I'm going to bed." He hesitated and then looked at me seriously, "You should get some sleep." "Okay," I said and gave him a sarcastic grin, "Like it's up to me."
So unfortunately here I am typing, too awake to sleep, which I guess is a good thing since I've had to be up until about 2am the past 4-5 nights. I need to be awake at this point or I'd never make it! My days and nights are way off...but that's the job description. I work the graveyard shift. I definitely don't think my efforts are truly appreciated. I mean, no one is up (besides me and Sven) to appreciate them! Which, I guess, is what it means to be a mother. It starts out as a thankless job...and I don't mean that to be negative. But the baby doesn't say, "Hey, thanks. I really appreciate you spending the last couple hours burping me so I feel better." And slowly as the baby grows, they are able to start giving back. In their smiles, in their ability to learn and grow. I have such a depth of love for my daughter I could not even attempt to describe it. And her early days were not easy for me.
So with that...I'm off to wake and feed my son...and then hopefully get some sleep.
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