Newborn Summary – Week 5

This is a newborn summary for Sven ages 4-5 weeks old.

NURSING
Nursing has been going fairly well for me with Sven. Mary, the nurse at Fairview Southdale showed me a trick early on to keep Sven “at the table” and not snacking. It was to push this area near his collarbone/shoulder that would make him eat. I’ve asked everyone I know after if they’ve ever heard of this. No one has. But it worked like a charm and I never had to fight with him sleeping during feeds after we learned that! Getting Anika to eat was a nightmarish struggle so this made things SO much easier. I have a good milk supply this time and generally find myself pumping once a day in the morning. Usually by the morning, I’m so full that Sven will only feed from one side. Well, this starts us down a bad path of him only eating from each side every 6 hours, which would really slow down my supply. So I pump everything off after his early morning feed and then I’m good to go for the day. I think this also has helped us sail through some growth spurts. I am always ahead of the game, so if he needs more, there’s more to be had.

SLEEPING
No breakthroughs here. Sven is still eating about every 3 hours (from start to start). I’m “letting him sleep” at night but generally he still gets up twice at night although there have been two 6 hr sleep stretches at night. I’m chalking this up to his having been up for the 4+ hrs before that crying. I think he has reflux and is maybe just a hard baby to calm. So he was tough to get down. Also, it seems my only sleep success happens in the swing. I’ve given up my strict ideas that I had with Anika that he must take every nap in his crib at this point. My thought is that in the newborn stage, sleep is better than overtired. I’d guess about half his sleep happens in the swing. Is this safe? I’m not sure. I hope so. I hope I’m not doing long-term sleep damage. I’m hoping he’ll start growing out of the fussiness, reflux, newborn baby stuff and begin to be able to sleep in his crib more. Also, I’m a firm believer in swaddling, but he hates it! He cries when I start to swaddle him and seems so uncomfortable. I can’t wait until 3 months when I don’t have to do it anymore.

BOTTLES
So we started introducing a bottle last week. Anika rejected bottles because we waited too long to introduce them. It seems to be going ok. We need to be more diligent about trying it once a day. He has been close to rejecting it already a couple times.

BURPING
I only mention this here because I’ve finally been able to get more predictable burps out of Sven. After a feeding, I sit him up, give him gas drops and then sit there for about a minute. Then I usually weigh him, and what’s important here is that I’m laying him down for a few seconds. Then I pick him up under his arms, letting his body hang below him and then prop him up on my shoulder. I bounce, pat his back and usually get a burp. This sometimes results in hiccups…but at least I’m getting some air out! I had hoped this would help me get him to sleep and stay asleep but it doesn’t seem so yet.

WAKETIME
I’ve found that in the afternoons Sven can handle being awake a little longer. Usually I’m trying to wind him down pretty soon after his diaper change/feeding (30-40 minutes after waking) but now that he is showing us his smiles (yay!), it seems like he wants to be a little more social. So I am watchful for his sleepy signs…he usually yawns and then get him right to bed (which means I’m usually spending the next hour trying to get him to sleep).

EMOTIONS
I’m still struggling on this front a little. The weepiness, hormonal stuff feels mostly gone, but I have been really negative. I really am not a fan of the “newborn” phase of a babies life. They’re unpredictable and don’t allow me much sleep. I need these two things in my life. Sleep and predictability. So I’m working on the negative vibes. My husband has been a lifesaver here. He’s been patient and does his best to talk me through it. This too shall pass.

So that’s it. I’m actually manning the monitor now. He woke up after 20-30 minutes of laying him down for bed at 10:15pm. (I knew this would happen which is how I had time to write all this) I actually waited to make sure he was really crying before going in to get him. I didn’t want to wake him up if he was sleep-crying. I held him for a few minutes, tried to quiet him which didn’t work and thought, ‘well, I’ll try the swing.’ This time though it doesn’t seem to be working. Its been 15 minutes, he still has his eyes open and is whining. So its now 11:21pm. I may have to go in and intervene. This could be another long night. I can’t wait until things get easier!

GET SOME SLEEP!

My husband kissed me on the forhead tonight at 9:00pm and said, "I'm going to bed." He hesitated and then looked at me seriously, "You should get some sleep." "Okay," I said and gave him a sarcastic grin, "Like it's up to me."

So unfortunately here I am typing, too awake to sleep, which I guess is a good thing since I've had to be up until about 2am the past 4-5 nights. I need to be awake at this point or I'd never make it! My days and nights are way off...but that's the job description. I work the graveyard shift. I definitely don't think my efforts are truly appreciated. I mean, no one is up (besides me and Sven) to appreciate them! Which, I guess, is what it means to be a mother. It starts out as a thankless job...and I don't mean that to be negative. But the baby doesn't say, "Hey, thanks. I really appreciate you spending the last couple hours burping me so I feel better." And slowly as the baby grows, they are able to start giving back. In their smiles, in their ability to learn and grow. I have such a depth of love for my daughter I could not even attempt to describe it. And her early days were not easy for me.

So with that...I'm off to wake and feed my son...and then hopefully get some sleep.

Calling in Back-Up

2am. Its my threshold for calling in back-up. Usually I'm trying to put Sven to bed "for the night" between 9-10pm. Three of the last 4 nights Sven has been up crying from this period until almost 2am. Last night started with me waking him at 9:30p to eat. From that point on Sven cried uncomfortably and mostly inconsolably until 1:51am. I was spent. I had tried swaddling/un-swaddling. I tried him on my shoulder, in each arm, bouncing, swaying, shushing, singing, lights on and off, in the swing, you name it! Nothing worked. I could tell he was really tired, but also really uncomfortable. I tried giving him Mylicon to help get a burp up, but nothing came. My physical, mental and emotional faculties were spent. I felt terribly guilty, but I had to call in back-up.

"Scott," I whispered exhausted, "I need your help."

This asking for help is so hard for me to do! It means I've failed. And I feel so terrible because I know Scott has to get Anika up at the crack of dawn and work a full day the next day. I really hated doing it, but I could not go on like I had been. Which reminds me of the Babywise mom post. Having a newborn at home is hard. Really hard. Its wonderful and special, but its hard. It challenges me in ways I never thought possible. You really have to dig deep sometimes to summon a cheerleader when there are none to call on...after hours of crying at 1am...the cheerleader who says, "you can do it" "stay calm" "this will come to an end" "you will sleep again" "be creative" "persevere." I haven't been the most positive person lately...I'm working on that. There's a part of me who wants to be the hero and not share any difficult detail. But then, I think I'd be doing motherhood a disservice. Its hard! If I pretended like it wasn't, then I would be making it out to be easy. But if I share only the difficult details, I'm digging myself into a hole. I need to see the light. This too shall pass.

So, thanks honey for helping me out last night. Sven did finally sleep at 3am. And didn't wake until 9am. Either he was so exhausted he had to sleep that long or this is a positive sign of sleepier nights to come. I'll hope for the best, but plan for the worst.

http://www.babywisemom.com/2009/05/emotions.html

http://www.babywisemom.com/2008/07/baby-whisperer-new-baby-is-hard.html

Schedule - Week 4

So I forget now where my daughter was at this point in time in her life, so I thought I would take a couple of moments to reflect on how Sven’s schedule is shaping up. In general, although we’re having trouble with the sleeping, the eating regulates our schedule. In general, he feeds about every 3-3.5hrs from the start of one feed to the start of the next. I have rarely been able to get more than 8 feeds a day for either of my kids, but because I have the scale and I know how much food they’re getting, this doesn’t concern me. So in general my day looks like the following:

1:30am – Wake, Eat, Sleep
3:30am – Wake, Eat, Sleep
7:30am – Wake, Eat, Sleep? We consistently have problems with him sleeping in his crib for this nap. I usually end up putting him in the swing. I agree with the Babywise mom here. At this age, I think its more important to get him sleep than to be stubborn about where he sleeps. I always try to get him to sleep in his crib, but inevitably after 20 minutes of being in his crib he begins to cry. Usually I am very desperate for sleep at this point, so the swing it is! Important point here though is that I usually have him swing to calm him down for the first 15 minutes, but then I go in and turn it off. People (babies included) don’t sleep as well or deeply when in motion (see Dr. Weissbluth’s book for reference).
11:00am – Wake, Eat, Sleep? This nap is pretty spotty too. Sometimes he will sleep in his crib, but I have been finding this one has been in his swing a lot.
2:00pm – Wake, Eat, Sleep. Now that I think about it, the daytime naps are most challenging. We do have room darkening blinds and a humidifier that makes white noise, so I’m not sure what the difference is during the day.
5:00pm – Wake, Eat, Sleep?
9:30pm – Wake, Eat, Sleep. So its after this cycle that I will mentally “let” Sven sleep as long as he wants. He is basically 11lbs now and gaining weight well. My milk supply seems good, although I do generally pump once a day after a morning feed to keep the girls empty and producing milk at a fast rate. At this point Sven hasn’t slept much longer than 3.5 hours…and that was on a challenging day where he really took no nap.

I keep hoping that soon he will miraculously sleep for a 4-6 hour stretch, but when I look at my daughter’s baby book, that didn’t happen for her until 9 weeks. So…we’re about halfway there. Well, as long as he actually sleeps when he’s supposed to and I’m not up all night addressing his needs, then I will survive.

Smile Sidenote
I think Sven gave me his first, non gaseous, non reflex social smile today. Wow that was nice. I think I’ll need to see it again to be sure.