2010 was a rough year. I let you know about it in my last post, but since then I've been in the hospital for menengitis, likely the result of too little self-care. In the effort to be super-woman, super-mom, super-engineer, decent-wife, super-self came last. An average of 4-5 hours of sleep just does not a healthy self make. And when I was throwing up into that toilet while my head pounded like the world's worst migraine, I thought to myself, "This sucks. This really sucks." How interesting it is that you don't appreciate your health until its gone. And our health, its probably the most important key to our happiness. It enables us to pursue those things we love, to give our best at work and in relationships. When I was in the hospital, I shared a room with a woman my mother's age. When she was first rolled in, a nurse stopped in to interview her on her health. I literally listened to them discuss each medication she took for almost an hour. I thought to myself, wow. That is terrible! How can one let themselves go so much they become that dependant on that many medications. But then I reflected. What was I doing there? I had neglected to listen to my body and it crashed. This ignorance is a very easy thing to fall victim to. In fact, I think most of us go through our daily lives ignorant to the damage we're doing because its become so normal, so apart of how we always feel. When she finished listing all the meds she took, I felt very grateful to not be in her position. But, I realized that I could be heading in that direction.
So this year I became determined, not to make some crazy resolution that I know I can't follow through with, but to commit myself to focusing on my health. I know all the things I want to do can't happen overnight...I mean, I am still a mom and need to take care of my kids. I am still in a somewhat high-stress, high-pressure job and need to continue to perform so that I can continue to give my kids the most opportunities I can. But I want to devote myself to eating better and be more consistent in taking my vitamins (I already do a good job drinking lots of water). I want to learn to meditate, to turn off that incessant thinking and take the time to reflect, breathe, and live. I want to work my muscles through yoga and cycling. To feel every muscle in my body and every pore open. I want to be more disciplined about going to bed when I feel tired. And I want to learn to say "No" when I feel my brain tiring, my neck tightening from the stress, and my limbs tripping clumsly over something. I can't do it all, no one can. And each time I say no, I put myself first so that I can make time to do the things that I need to do to stay healthy. Hopefully this will transform my 2011 to be healthier and happier than my 2010.
